Satire
22 december 2007
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Laws
for the Protection of German Blood and German Honour |
| Laws
for the Protection of the Islamic Religion and Maldive Honour |
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Entirely convinced that the purity
of German blood is essential to the further existence of the German
people, and inspired by the uncompromising determination to safeguard
the future of the German nation, the Reichstag has unanimously resolved
upon the following law, which is promulgated herewith:
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| Entirely convinced that the purity
of and enforced adherence to the Islamic Religion is essential to
the further existence of the Maldive people, and inspired by the uncompromising
determination to safeguard the future of the Maldive nation, the Reichjitungemajlis
has unanimously resolved upon the following laws, which are either
already in place or have been enacted for ratification by the Reichsuljumhourija
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Section 1
- Marriages between Jews and citizens of German or kindred blood
are forbidden. Marriages concluded in defiance of this law are
void, even if, for the purpose of evading this law, they were
concluded abroad.
- Proceedings for annulment may be initiated
only by the Public Prosecutor.
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| Law 1
A citizen of the Maldive Ummah (Motherland)
shall be:
- any person who is born of or to a citizen of the Maldive Ummah
and
- any other Muslim man or woman naturalised as a citizen of the
Maldive Ummah according to Law.
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Section 2
Extramarital intercourse between Jews and
subjects of the state of German or related blood is forbidden.
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Law 2
Whereas the vilest of animals in Allah's sight
are those who disbelieve, therefore notwithstanding Law 1, whosoever
amongst Maldivians that apostatises by renouncing the Islamic
Religion shall be denaturalised and be deemed homo sacer.
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Section 3
Jews will not be permitted to employ female
citizens of German or kindred blood as domestic workers under the
age of 45.
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| Law 3
A person who has been denaturalised and deemed
to be homo sacer shall be ordered to return to the fold
of the Islamic religion. If such a najis (excremental)
person prevails in his or her state of apostasy after three such
orders, he or she shall be eliminated and committed to Allah's Hell
by severing his or her head by the neck with a dagger.
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Section 4
- Jews are forbidden to display the Reich and national flag or
the national colours.
- On the other hand they are permitted
to display the Jewish colours. The exercise of this right is protected
by the State.
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Law 4
- Marriage between male Islamic citizens of the Maldive Ummah
and najis Christian and najis Jewish
females is permitted when performed by an Islamic mullah within
the territory of the Ummah.
- Marriage between male Islamic citizens of the Maldive Ummah
and najis infidels other than the two categories of infidels
mentioned in section 1 of this Law is totally forbidden
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Section 5
- A person who acts contrary to the prohibition of Section 1 will
be punished with hard labour.
- A person who acts contrary to the prohibition of Section 2 will
be punished with imprisonment or with hard labour.
- A person who acts contrary to the provisions of Sections 3 or
4 will be punished with imprisonment up to a year and with a fine,
or with one of these penalties.
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| Law 5
Marriage between female Islamic citizens of the
Maldive Ummah and najis infidels, be they Christian,
Jew or other najis person, is totally forbidden until:
- the said najis person reverts to Islam and waits for
a probationary period of not less than six calendar months; and
- having reverted to Islam the ex-najis infidel then
changes his name on his passport by application to his najis
government, as long as that government is not the government of
the so called State of Israel or the government of the so called
Vatican City State.
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Section 6
The Reich Minister of the Interior in agreement
with the Deputy Führer and the Reich Minister of Justice will
issue the legal and administrative regulations required for the
enforcement and supplementing of this law.
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| Law 6
The new names of reverted ex-najis-infidels
must be Arabic or Farsi or Urdu names or names of such other languages
that may from time to time be deemed as Islamic by the Supreme Reichsmajlis
for Islam in the Maldive Ummah. The Divehi language of
the Maldives shall always remain najis and will never be
deemed to be Islamic for the purposes of this Law.
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Section 7
The law will become effective on the day
after its promulgation; Section 3, however, not until 1 January
1936.
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| Law 7
Extramarital sex is permitted between male Islamic
citizens of the Maldive Ummah and najis infidel
women who are captured in any act of jihad. The consent
of such najis women are not required for such sexual act,
which may, if required, be conducted in the presence of the najis
husbands of these najis women.
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Promulgated under our hands this
the Fifteenth day of September One Thousand Nine Hundred and Thirty
Five at Nuremburg at the Reich Party Congress of Freedom
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| Promulgated under my hand this the
Nineteenth day of December (in lieu of our clumsy Islamic calendar)
in the Year of the Christian Lord Two Thousand and Seven at Malé.
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Führer
and Reich Chancellor Adolf Hitler
Reich Minister of the Interior Frick
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| Zaiim and Reichsuljumhourija
Abdulla Maumoon |
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After the promulgation of the Laws
for the Protection of German Blood and German Honour, Adolf Hitler
received telegrams of congratulation from all over the Arab and Muslim
world
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| After the promulgation and full implementation
of the Laws for the Protection of the Islamic Religion and Maldive
Honour, Abdulla Maumoon Abdul Gayoom is expected to receive electronic
mails of congratulation from all over the Arab and Muslim world |